Friday, September 03, 2004

Nothing to Do This Weekend?

WAYS TO USE YOUR TELEPORTATION POWERS FOR THE GOOD OF HUMANITY

Teleport to the local elementary school and kick the crap out of schoolyard bullies

Teleport old ladies across the street

Teleport to the store, buy groceries, teleport to a random person's house in the middle of the afternoon when no one's home, fire up the oven, leave behind a pile of chocolate chip goodness, that fresh-baked cookie smell and a charming handwritten note of encouragement

Teleport cats out of tall trees (bring leather gloves)

Teleport crazy enviroactivists out of tall trees (bring synthetic leather gloves)

Grandma feeling a little down? Teleport her to Vegas!

Become an organ transplant courier

Teleport to Alanis Morrissette's performance venue on every stop of her North American tour, remove all the sound equipment just before each concert begins, leave behind a professionally printed manifesto regarding the proper use of irony

Grab some co-workers by the hand and beat the traffic on Teleportpool Tuesdays

Save lives this Friday night -- be your group's designated teleporter

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Is kicking the crap out of school yard bullies really something Jesus would do?