Friday, May 27, 2005
The Joke That Tells Itself
According to an e-mail I just got from Ticketmaster, the next "American Idols Live" tour is being presented by...Pop-Tarts.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Blood, Sweat and Tears
As a rule, the only thing I enjoy about boxing is the fact that it is also called "pugilism," which is more fun to say and hear and spell than most other words.
Seriously, boxing is a sport where two men -- and even women, nowadays, which I fail to understand -- are paid to beat each other until: A.) one of them, resembling pre-cooked meat, is rendered horizontal and motionless, or B.) both resemble pre-cooked meat, but only one is chosen as victor by judges with unbroken noses, wearing nice outfits unsullied by their own various bodily fluids. My astonishment at the fact that these men are paid to pound on each other is matched only by my astonishment that other people pay to watch this happen.
But I just saw Russell Crowe's new movie Cinderella Man, which is the story of Depression-era boxer James J. Braddock, and I was enthralled. Not only is it a well-told (true!) story with a good script and strong performances -- even by Renee "SquintyPucker" Zellweger, who generally makes me twitch -- it is a film with good moral messages and positive, uplifting portrayals of marriage and family. Humility. Honesty. Courage. Risk-taking. Hope. Strength of character. This is a film about men doing what they have to do and women doing their best to support and enable the men's efforts.
The reason I've seen it presumably before any of you is that I went to the world premiere at Universal Citywalk. Brian Grazer, one of the producers of the film, is a huge supporter of the Best Buddies program; the $250-per-ticket afterparty was actually a charity benefit. Denise and I were one of the few "buddy pairs" who were specially invited.
And weren't we a sight, intermingled with the eternally youthful and fabulous of Hollywood, standing there all normal-bodied in our khaki pants and matching t-shirts!
Some highlights:
• We were the first group to walk the red carpet, on our way to take our posts at the theater doors in order to hand out flyers and freebies to the moviegoers. People cheered us, so we smiled and waved. Denise, who is too cool for school, muttered, "I don't wave. I will look, but I don't wave." (She'd have waved herself into unconsciousness if Jackie Chan or Steven Seagal had been there, though, I can tell you that.)
• Before the movie, I recognized the Ron Howard trifecta of Marion Ross, Penny Marshall, and M. Night Shyamalamadingdong, as well as a few people whose faces looked familiar in that I-know-you're-somebody-but-you-look-too-3D-right-now-for-me-to-get-it sort of way.
• Just before the movie, we actually got free popcorn and sodas. Seriously. FREE. Denise was very excited about this.
• During the movie, the excellent Paul Giamatti at one point actually said the word "pugilism." I was very excited about this.
• After the movie came the photo ops. No, the photographer wasn't able to corral any of the movie stars, but we had some lovely pics snapped of the group of us with such notables as Brian Grazer, Best Buddies founder Anthony Shriver, and Frankensteinish motivational speaker Tony Robbins.
• We got to keep our "all access" passes, movie tickets and afterparty invitations. You know -- for the scrapbook, next to the picture of Tony Robbins.
• Denise and I walked the red carpet again in reverse, on the way back to the parking structure. It's surprisingly soft when you're barefoot. I've now made contact with whatever was on the bottom of thousands of famous people's designer shoes.
Not too shabby, as evenings go.
Please go see the movie. I'll tell you this: I've been to cast & crew screenings and premieres before. You know the film is good when the jaded Hollywood-types are cheering -- not for the cool and expensive visual effects sequence, or for some bigshot's name in the opening credits, but for the desperate man with the bloody face who's taking the punches for his kids.
Seriously, boxing is a sport where two men -- and even women, nowadays, which I fail to understand -- are paid to beat each other until: A.) one of them, resembling pre-cooked meat, is rendered horizontal and motionless, or B.) both resemble pre-cooked meat, but only one is chosen as victor by judges with unbroken noses, wearing nice outfits unsullied by their own various bodily fluids. My astonishment at the fact that these men are paid to pound on each other is matched only by my astonishment that other people pay to watch this happen.
But I just saw Russell Crowe's new movie Cinderella Man, which is the story of Depression-era boxer James J. Braddock, and I was enthralled. Not only is it a well-told (true!) story with a good script and strong performances -- even by Renee "SquintyPucker" Zellweger, who generally makes me twitch -- it is a film with good moral messages and positive, uplifting portrayals of marriage and family. Humility. Honesty. Courage. Risk-taking. Hope. Strength of character. This is a film about men doing what they have to do and women doing their best to support and enable the men's efforts.
The reason I've seen it presumably before any of you is that I went to the world premiere at Universal Citywalk. Brian Grazer, one of the producers of the film, is a huge supporter of the Best Buddies program; the $250-per-ticket afterparty was actually a charity benefit. Denise and I were one of the few "buddy pairs" who were specially invited.
And weren't we a sight, intermingled with the eternally youthful and fabulous of Hollywood, standing there all normal-bodied in our khaki pants and matching t-shirts!
Some highlights:
• We were the first group to walk the red carpet, on our way to take our posts at the theater doors in order to hand out flyers and freebies to the moviegoers. People cheered us, so we smiled and waved. Denise, who is too cool for school, muttered, "I don't wave. I will look, but I don't wave." (She'd have waved herself into unconsciousness if Jackie Chan or Steven Seagal had been there, though, I can tell you that.)
• Before the movie, I recognized the Ron Howard trifecta of Marion Ross, Penny Marshall, and M. Night Shyamalamadingdong, as well as a few people whose faces looked familiar in that I-know-you're-somebody-but-you-look-too-3D-right-now-for-me-to-get-it sort of way.
• Just before the movie, we actually got free popcorn and sodas. Seriously. FREE. Denise was very excited about this.
• During the movie, the excellent Paul Giamatti at one point actually said the word "pugilism." I was very excited about this.
• After the movie came the photo ops. No, the photographer wasn't able to corral any of the movie stars, but we had some lovely pics snapped of the group of us with such notables as Brian Grazer, Best Buddies founder Anthony Shriver, and Frankensteinish motivational speaker Tony Robbins.
• We got to keep our "all access" passes, movie tickets and afterparty invitations. You know -- for the scrapbook, next to the picture of Tony Robbins.
• Denise and I walked the red carpet again in reverse, on the way back to the parking structure. It's surprisingly soft when you're barefoot. I've now made contact with whatever was on the bottom of thousands of famous people's designer shoes.
Not too shabby, as evenings go.
Please go see the movie. I'll tell you this: I've been to cast & crew screenings and premieres before. You know the film is good when the jaded Hollywood-types are cheering -- not for the cool and expensive visual effects sequence, or for some bigshot's name in the opening credits, but for the desperate man with the bloody face who's taking the punches for his kids.
Monday, May 23, 2005
Jenny Goes Ghetto
I went to Trader Joe's on a (failed) quest for chocolate Mochi, and as I was perusing the less enticing forms of soy-substance-posing-as-ice-cream, I heard a woman to my immediate left say "Hallelujah!" as she reached up to the shelf above the freezer. I chuckled and swiveled my head to see what she was grabbing.
It was the last two bags of some kind of cookie.
As if she had heard my unspoken question of "what snack item is so good you're praising God for it," the woman looked at me and said, "Girrrrrrrrl, these are the cookies. These cookies are SO good, make ya wanna SLAP sumbahhhdy."
(The language-obsessed part of me took immediate notice that this was the second time in a week I'd heard this particular sentiment expressed by a member of the same cultural group. The first person to mention it actually used the phrase "so good, make ya wanna slap yo momma," which I found absolutely fascinating.)
I laughed and asked to see the bag.
So the woman showed me one of the bags and said, "It's too bad there's only two left because I am buying them BOTH. I have looked EVERYwhere. The Trader Joe's near my house does NOT have any more. But if you can find these, girl, you should get them because you will SLAP sumbahhhdy."
Upon seeing the package, I made the connection: these were the little "Stroopwafels" lauded by my friend Deborah in her blog post here.
"I've heard of these!"
"Ooohhhh, girl. These cookies take the edge off PMS." Then she looked around. "You know what?"
I didn't know what. I had a feeling I was about to know what.
She began opening the package. "I am paying for these -- I am buying both of these, and you GOT to have one of these cookies. You will THANK me. I don't mind goin' ghetto, here, because I am BUYING these cookies. Have one of these cookies."
Sure, the uptight whitey in the most law-abiding part of my psyche was frantically scanning the aisle for grocery store packaging police, but I ate the cookie. And the woman looked on, eyebrows raised and nodding her approval like a bobblehead doll. Oh, it was beyond good.
"I TOLD you, girrrl!"
Something in my face must have told her she was right, because she moved away quickly. My slapping hand was at the ready.
It was the last two bags of some kind of cookie.
As if she had heard my unspoken question of "what snack item is so good you're praising God for it," the woman looked at me and said, "Girrrrrrrrl, these are the cookies. These cookies are SO good, make ya wanna SLAP sumbahhhdy."
(The language-obsessed part of me took immediate notice that this was the second time in a week I'd heard this particular sentiment expressed by a member of the same cultural group. The first person to mention it actually used the phrase "so good, make ya wanna slap yo momma," which I found absolutely fascinating.)
I laughed and asked to see the bag.
So the woman showed me one of the bags and said, "It's too bad there's only two left because I am buying them BOTH. I have looked EVERYwhere. The Trader Joe's near my house does NOT have any more. But if you can find these, girl, you should get them because you will SLAP sumbahhhdy."
Upon seeing the package, I made the connection: these were the little "Stroopwafels" lauded by my friend Deborah in her blog post here.
"I've heard of these!"
"Ooohhhh, girl. These cookies take the edge off PMS." Then she looked around. "You know what?"
I didn't know what. I had a feeling I was about to know what.
She began opening the package. "I am paying for these -- I am buying both of these, and you GOT to have one of these cookies. You will THANK me. I don't mind goin' ghetto, here, because I am BUYING these cookies. Have one of these cookies."
Sure, the uptight whitey in the most law-abiding part of my psyche was frantically scanning the aisle for grocery store packaging police, but I ate the cookie. And the woman looked on, eyebrows raised and nodding her approval like a bobblehead doll. Oh, it was beyond good.
"I TOLD you, girrrl!"
Something in my face must have told her she was right, because she moved away quickly. My slapping hand was at the ready.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Make My Ex-Boss Rent a Tux
The Beverly Hills crash sequence from Martin Scorcese's film The Aviator has been nominated for an MTV Movie Award in the "Best Action Sequence" category. Why do I care? Because I worked on that show with my friends and former employers at New Deal Studios, and I want to see the company get some recognition for once! Seems like when it comes to awards (Oscars, Emmys, even BAFTAs), it's "always a bridesmaid, never a bride."
The good news is that since this is a "People's Choice" style awards show, you can help! Click on this link to vote for The Aviator -- you can vote as many times as you like before the show takes place on June 9th. Vote for The Aviator even if you thought another action sequence was better! Do it because I'm your friend! (We all know that's how Hollywood works anyway....)
The good news is that since this is a "People's Choice" style awards show, you can help! Click on this link to vote for The Aviator -- you can vote as many times as you like before the show takes place on June 9th. Vote for The Aviator even if you thought another action sequence was better! Do it because I'm your friend! (We all know that's how Hollywood works anyway....)
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
The Jester is Employed
(INSERT TRUMPET FANFARE HERE)
That's right, ladies and gentlemen! Effective May 24, I will once again be a productive member of society. It's a part-time office support gig for Starlight Starbright Children's Foundation, which does incredible work in the service of seriously ill kids and their families.
This job is promising for a variety of reasons, chief among them is the idea of my making just enough money to survive, such that I'll be more motivated to spend my non-office time doing some creative writing and pursuing ways to turn said writing into extra cash.
More importantly, though, I've learned quite a bit these last few months about God's faithfulness. Consistently, as I've prayed for help with little things here and there, financially and logistically and otherwise, He has provided just what I've needed at just the time I've needed it. Even the timing has been perfect: after six months of searching and researching and networking and sending resumes and writing cover letters and submitting applications and interviewing and following up and receiving generally no response despite whatever qualifications I possess...I get a job that seems like just the right fit, just as my unemployment runs out. The lesson for me here (and how many times have I learned this, now?) is that dependence on God is exactly what I should focus on at all times, because even my best efforts will come to naught without His loving intervention and masterful orchestration.
Thanks to all of you who have been so faithful in your friendship and support, especially to those of you who have been praying alongside me for these many months!
That's right, ladies and gentlemen! Effective May 24, I will once again be a productive member of society. It's a part-time office support gig for Starlight Starbright Children's Foundation, which does incredible work in the service of seriously ill kids and their families.
This job is promising for a variety of reasons, chief among them is the idea of my making just enough money to survive, such that I'll be more motivated to spend my non-office time doing some creative writing and pursuing ways to turn said writing into extra cash.
More importantly, though, I've learned quite a bit these last few months about God's faithfulness. Consistently, as I've prayed for help with little things here and there, financially and logistically and otherwise, He has provided just what I've needed at just the time I've needed it. Even the timing has been perfect: after six months of searching and researching and networking and sending resumes and writing cover letters and submitting applications and interviewing and following up and receiving generally no response despite whatever qualifications I possess...I get a job that seems like just the right fit, just as my unemployment runs out. The lesson for me here (and how many times have I learned this, now?) is that dependence on God is exactly what I should focus on at all times, because even my best efforts will come to naught without His loving intervention and masterful orchestration.
Thanks to all of you who have been so faithful in your friendship and support, especially to those of you who have been praying alongside me for these many months!
Monday, May 09, 2005
TV as Tutor
Much can be, and has been, said about the power of television as a force for ill in our society. And much of it's true; adults and children consume more intellectual junk food than anything else when the glowing box is beckoning. In fact, the best thing Amy and I ever did was give up TV for Lent a few years ago -- our viewing habits have not been the same since, and now that we make a concerted effort to limit our exposure, we are more aware of (and often horrified by) what's being aimed at our minds.
Even the commercials are becoming more distasteful, if that's possible. Our current "favorite" involves a leaky rowboat and a feminine hygiene product...you may use your imagination, and you probably won't be far off. (What's that sound, you ask? It's my grandmother whirring in her grave.)
But every once in a while, something that happens on TV will stick with you in a *good* way. It can actually be a teaching tool. For example, how many of us learned to count to ten in Spanish just by watching Sesame Street? If you live in California, as I do, there's no such thing as useless Spanish vocabulary.
I had a fun TV learning memory just now. I get this "word of the day" e-mail (I know, I know), and today's word was "aver." I confess to being quietly delighted with myself whenever I actually already know the word of the day, but I get an even bigger charge out of it when there's a memory attached about how I learned it in the first place.
aver \uh-VUR\,transitive verb;
Inflected forms: averred; averring:
1. To affirm with confidence; to declare in a positive manner,
as in confidence of asserting the truth.
2. (Law) To assert, claim, or declare as a fact
The first time I remember hearing this word? I was very young, and watching the annual broadcast of "The Wizard of Oz." Yes, it's technically a film and not TV, but this was back in the days before the popularity of VCRs and invention of DVD players. And in the beginning of the "Oz" part of the movie, just after the Wicked Witch of the East has been rendered two-dimensional by Dorothy's house, the Coroner of Munchkinland sings this reassuring statement to the munchkin masses:
"As coroner, I must aver
I've thoroughly examined her
And she's not only merely dead
She's really most sincerely dead!"
So, what has TV done for you?
Even the commercials are becoming more distasteful, if that's possible. Our current "favorite" involves a leaky rowboat and a feminine hygiene product...you may use your imagination, and you probably won't be far off. (What's that sound, you ask? It's my grandmother whirring in her grave.)
But every once in a while, something that happens on TV will stick with you in a *good* way. It can actually be a teaching tool. For example, how many of us learned to count to ten in Spanish just by watching Sesame Street? If you live in California, as I do, there's no such thing as useless Spanish vocabulary.
I had a fun TV learning memory just now. I get this "word of the day" e-mail (I know, I know), and today's word was "aver." I confess to being quietly delighted with myself whenever I actually already know the word of the day, but I get an even bigger charge out of it when there's a memory attached about how I learned it in the first place.
aver \uh-VUR\,transitive verb;
Inflected forms: averred; averring:
1. To affirm with confidence; to declare in a positive manner,
as in confidence of asserting the truth.
2. (Law) To assert, claim, or declare as a fact
The first time I remember hearing this word? I was very young, and watching the annual broadcast of "The Wizard of Oz." Yes, it's technically a film and not TV, but this was back in the days before the popularity of VCRs and invention of DVD players. And in the beginning of the "Oz" part of the movie, just after the Wicked Witch of the East has been rendered two-dimensional by Dorothy's house, the Coroner of Munchkinland sings this reassuring statement to the munchkin masses:
"As coroner, I must aver
I've thoroughly examined her
And she's not only merely dead
She's really most sincerely dead!"
So, what has TV done for you?
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Jingle-Jangle-Jingle
I'm in Clovis this weekend, visiting the parental units. For Mother's Day (which we celebrated on Saturday, as we are a people whose holiday preferences include crowd avoidance), Mom wanted to drive up into the hills and have lunch at Humphrey Station. (I am perplexed by the site to which I'm pointing you, which is an apparent indicator that Humphrey's is for sale -- anybody got $775,000? -- despite no indication of that in person.)
Ever been there? When we drove up, there were a few dozen Harleys parked out front, and while we were eating, a party of what I can only assume to be middle-aged cowgirls strode past our table...wearing actual spurs. Good blackberry cobbler, too. It's worth a visit.
Ever been there? When we drove up, there were a few dozen Harleys parked out front, and while we were eating, a party of what I can only assume to be middle-aged cowgirls strode past our table...wearing actual spurs. Good blackberry cobbler, too. It's worth a visit.
Friday, May 06, 2005
Don't Forget to Bring I.D., and Proof That You're From the Future
This Saturday, some students at MIT will be hosting (are hosting? did host?) a convention for time travelers. Nothing I can say here could possibly be funnier than the actual story.
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