Things I Have Learned From Ohana

1. Toilet paper makes for a delicious between-meal snack.
2. Humans are not the only ones who snore.
3. Male dogs are not the only ones who...ahem..."assert dominance."
4. Labrador is just another name for Landshark. No kidding, I wouldn't be surprised if someone were to find an entire license plate in her stomach.
5. Rain is very exciting. We must find a way to bite and conquer it.
6. If guide dog work is not in her future, Ohana would make an excellent drug-sniffing dog -- she seems very excited about my neighbor's apartment door every time we go into the hallway.

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?

"What's wrong, Jenny? You've been so distant...."

I know I haven't posted much in a while; it's primarily because my computer's been in the shop (new hard drive -- hooray!). But now that little Gordon has returned to me with a clean bill of health and is once again restored to his place of honor on my desk, ready to blog like there's no tomorrow, it seems I'll have something new to keep my attention this week.

Her name is Ohana.

I'm puppysitting for a Guide Dogs volunteer, and I'm nearly beside myself with excitement. The impending layoff brings much more free time, and I am finally able to host a four-legged wonder, even if just for a little while. Ohana (her name means "family") is a five-month-old black Lab, and I'll be working with her until Wednesday. We have plans to go to dinner and the theater on Saturday night, church on Sunday morning, and we're going to arrange some playdates with the whippet next door for early in the week.

I'll let you know how it goes.

The Jester Really IS Unemployed

Whaddaya know. It occurs to me that the New Deal website was the Winchester Mystery Project. I had said many a time, "I'll see that thing launch if it's the last thing I do!"

And, as it turns out, it was.

Anyway, I've posted my online resume. Tell a friend, as they say. Referrals that actually get me some work will win you a signing bonus! I'm afraid cash is out of the question, but how about cookies? Great big bearhug? My undying gratitude? Signed poster of Evel Knievel? (I know where to get one, but if your name isn't "Matthew," you might want to reconsider).

Free Agency

Oh, I know I promised I'd be funnier today than in my last post, so...gosh, this is a tough one. I've got Neil Diamond's "Desiree" stuck in my head today, which I suppose is funny in sort of a "funny-strange, if not funny ha-ha" sort of way.

Anyway, the point of today's entry is to spread the word that I'm getting the boot from work. Things have been slow, ergo, it's layoff time...which is not entirely unexpected. (I knew the launch of the website would mean the end of my tenure! It's the thread that was keeping my whole employment universe tied together! Aigh!)

So, I guess I'm officially looking for work now (October 15 is my last day here, at least for a while). All-a-y'all can feel free to refer me to anyone you know who may be in need of a good copywriter with an excellent sense of humor and a penchant for proper punctuation (and, apparently, alliteration). Freelance, full-time and part-time are all very attractive options at this point!